Dream: Ball, weakness, diagnosis

Tonight I had one of the most terrible dreams and it won’t stop, every single time I woke up and fell asleep again the dream just happily continued… I have no idea what promoted such a dream as there was nothing during the day yesterday that would have produced such a dream, but it felt outright terrible…

Dream: Ball, weakness, diagnosis

In the beginning of the dream I was at a game with a huge field, the game looked like soccer. I was observing myself rather than looking through my own eyes, which happens quite often in my dreams actually. i looked over the soccer field and then my gaze fell to the right side, when my sight suddenly shifted to eye sight and I saw that boy who is responsible for the hole on the left side of my forehead above the temple. The moment I saw him I suddenly saw a soccer ball rushing towards me and I caught it without even trying. It was as if I had super senses and caught the ball mid flight. I was surprised and looked towards the field. As I got up from my seat and tried to throw the ball back. But in that moment I felt a heavy weakness in my right arm and I could not throw the ball, it was like I had no strength whatsoever… As a result the ball just fell and dropped on the field. i felt ashamed of such a weak throw…

Then the dream shifted and I went to a doctor, someone I never saw before. A complete new person created by my dream. I told her everything about the sudden weakness in my right arm. She listened and then guided me to a back room for checkup. then we sat down and she grabbed a scalpel and stuck it into my skin on the right arm, just like that without local anesthesia. It looked like when you stick a needle inside something to sew it. She scraped a whole bunch of skin and flesh out… At that moment my vision changed back to eye vision, I looked close up at the wound and how liquid was accumulating… she took a needle and sucked up the liquid.

The dream shifted again and I met again with the doctor, she told me her diagnosis and she said “Well it’s not going to be a happy diagnosis, but you have some B-markers in your blood stream which show that you have some sort of cancer circulating.” I suddenly felt devastated by that diagnosis. Suddenly she said that there are indications that either they or some other doctor sucked up some of the fluid before already. But I thought no that cannot be, I never was for that at a doctors office… Then I told her about the tiny red spots that started appearing on my skin, on my arms, upper body etc.

But I don’t remember what happened after that I went in and out of sleep and this is as good as I can remember it…

Conclusion:

I have a conclusion for the first part of the dream. Seeing that boy who was responsible for the hole in my forehead in second grade school and then the ball that suddenly rushed at me. It repeated my childhood trauma! In real life it was like this:

I was going through the class room and that boy who I saw in the dream just suddenly stood up and pushed me from the back, because I touched his backpack with my foot… It was an accident I did not mean to touch the backpack. As he pushed me I rushed towards a shelf at the end of the classroom and hit my head on the edge of that shelf. It did not hurt, I just suddenly looked up and sat down on a bench, as I touched my forehead and looked at my hand I saw blood on it, then I look up and the boy (Norman) looked down to me and said into my face “You deserve that…” I was brought to the hospital from there and the wound was glued together.

The next day I returned to school and we had sport class. As I stood in the hall looking into another direction, I suddenly got hit by something very strong and got pushed with full force to the ground. Somebody shot with full power a soccer ball throughout the hall and it hit me on the temple where the wound was glued… That it did not break open again was really a miracle…

I believe the dream repeated this childhood trauma in some way and worked through it in my sleep. But I have no idea what the cancer diagnosis is about… 😦