Hello everyone, I am a little late with my blog post. I am sorry about the little delay. I started a new adventure with a driving service and I am out most of the day. However I did not forget about Barbara’s challenge, A Selection of True Awakening Experiences ~ Part II.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to share my experiences of the Awakening with other people who go through it in one way or another!
My Awakening story:
Everybody who has experienced any kind of spiritual awakening or wake up-call knows that we go through a lot in life to get where we are at right now in this specific moment! I too have a story how it came to my Awakening and all the experiences I’ve had since it happened in August 2014!
But let’s go to the beginning of time! When I was a young girl, I always knew back then that something about me was different. I could never put my finger on it, but I just knew something was there the whole time. I called it later my guardian angel. As a young girl I started my life with some heavy problems. My father was since I can remember an alcoholic, my mother was/is very intense and clinging since I am her only child. She also got quickly angry at me for the slightest problems or mistakes!
In Kindergarten I started out with making one arch enemy of a boy who was placed with me in the same class! He started bullying me and saying mean things that hurt me very deeply. As I always felt I should never be mean towards other people, I tried to help others, gave them my kindergarten equipment and yet there was always this one boy who hurt me and not only emotionally. Another boy who was his (Norman’s) friend started bullying me as well and it went so far that he pushed me against a drawing stand. That was the first time I received a mark on my forehead, one that I should carry my whole life! I was bleeding from the top right corner of my eyebrow and it was the first time my guardian angel protected me from more to happen!
It was also throughout Kindergarten time that I somehow just suddenly found out that certain parts of my body created enormous amounts of pleasure. And it was just Kindergarten! How can a tiny little girl possibly feel these adulthood pleasures? Was that even possible? Apparently it was. It became almost and obsession to create that feeling and someday my mother caught me, of course she knew what that was that I was doing, and so she got mad at me for something I should not play with yet. I have no memory whatsoever how I found out about it with such a young age!
My life continued throughout all schools like this, and mysteriously the same boy who was hurting me so much was always, without a mistake, placed in the same classes and schools. As if the universe made sure that I experience these things that I cried about for evening after evening. As a child I was terribly afraid of death and at the same time wished for it, but it never happened. No accident I ever had created problems. I was always mysteriously protected! Of course I kept on getting scars that stayed with me forever. Norman was the second reason for the second mark left on my forehead. He pushed me against a shelf and I hit my head on the left temple! Again it could have ended worse!
I was at fault for the third mark on my forehead which is on the exact center, but higher than the Third eye!
However throughout my childhood I had experiences of spiritual nature. I would have extremely realistic dreams of being able to fly, doing Telekinesis etc. All these things that many of us know to be spiritual abilities! All of these dreams where extremely real and I always felt the next morning as if I really could fly!
One evening, I remember waking up in a shock as I felt that my whole body fell on the mattress of my bed. In fact I felt that my body hit the bed! As if I fell from the sky and inside my bed! That jerked me up for good!
There is a period of my life which I do not remember anything about! The only thing I remember is, that I was suddenly afraid of something in my closet! My mother once told me that I came downstairs crying for my father, to come upstairs and check my closet. I asked my mother what I was afraid of and she said “You said you saw a monster!” How come I can never remember what I actually was afraid of? It’s like erased from my mind!
Then there came the first time of spiritual darkness and I believe it to be my first dark night of the soul! I saw on TV a picture of a deformed two headed calf and after that nothing was the same anymore! Night for night after lying in bed and closing my eyes, I felt something tormenting my chest, I felt as if I could not breath anymore and I developed a weird swallowing problem, sometimes I could not swallow at all! Which created more panic! This continued daily, every night I was afraid of going to bed as it would happen without mistake! In these moments I needed to walk through the room and open the windows as I was sure I could not breath! Till today I am not really sure what this was that I experienced!
Then someday it just stopped! It never happened again! Back and forth I was interested in studying everything about Telekinesis and for the first time I got interested in the Out of Body phenomenon. I had finally internet and was about 15 years old. I tried to do what I read online but I never was successful. What I also should mention is that I had tons of Déjà Vu experiences in my childhood! There were many moments when I felt I could just finish a sentence someone was about to say, inside my head! Just my mouth was not fast enough!
Then there was this magical moment in my life when I lost the golden earring from my mother which she gave me as a present from her great grandmother. It happened while riding my bicycle through a forest. My ear got stuck on a branch and the earring got pulled out. there was just no way of finding it between literally millions of yellow, orange and red leafs! So my two friends and I were looking all over the place and gave up. We rode back home and as expected my mother got mad at me and screamed I NEED TO GET THAT EARRING BACK! No way, so we rode back to that forest and it was just coincidence that we found the same spot again. I was near breakdown and my only hope was a white plastic bag which was lying on the floor. I took it, looked at it and said with intend “I can do whatever I want!” And I threw it into the air. All three of us were looking into the air and followed the white bag! As it landed on the ground I carefully approached it and picked it up. It was then that my believe in god or angels was strengthened. The earring, which was impossible to find was lying directly underneath one of the 4 edges of this plastic bag! WOW! Manifestation at it’s best!
As the years kept on going I was embarrassed to like myself, as I did not develop as fast as other girls did! When they started showing breast I still was flat like a wooden board. Which made it impossible for me to stand in front of other girls underneath the showers and I usually skipped or went under when they were already gone. On top of that I had Norman and other boys who were bullying me for the way I looked. Thin, tall, no breast, very thin face. but a head full of extreme thick locks! While all other girls had straight hair!
This all combines the march towards the Awakening. When I was 27 years old I met my now husband online. He happened to be a movie composer and I was watching coincidentally one of his movies and I fell in love with his music. At that time I took piano lessons in Germany and I needed to have the music to study it. So I wrote him an e-mail and somehow against all odds we connected! And this created months later our marriage! And my dream of living in the USA got fulfilled as well!
However this could be a happy ending to all the torment right? well guess what, it wasn’t that was only the beginning… Very quickly I realized that my husband has a shadow aspect to him which brings in tremendous arguments, fights and problems out of thin air. He gets mad at me for no apparent reason and then starts fights which always end in his advantage, as he is an amazing communicator and a lot older than me! He definitely knows how to attack with single words! Life here has been a blessing in disguise!
In the meantime my father snapped and from one day to the next he suddenly started hearing voices and talked to beings my mother could not see. They told him my mother was hiding mics in the house! My mother told me that he was once standing outside at the house door talking to a person that only he could see! My mother got afraid and called the police, who took him to the psychiatrists… Very big mistake… He got drugged and in the meantime my mother divorced from him… After 6 weeks he got released and needed to move into his own apartment. I could kick my ass for the last sentence I said to my father when he called me from Germany one day… He was obviously drunk and throughout his talking he stopped all the time and it became quiet! I asked him what he is doing. and his answer was that he gt telepathically messages from my mother, she still is thinking about him… I had enough of this and not knowing anything, I told him “Are you hearing voices again?” and I hang up…
A couple of weeks later I sent him a letter to Germany asking how he is feeling etc. But never received answer… No idea if he still read the letter! Then in July 2012 I got the message from my mother that my father was found dead lying in his bathroom… I was shocked but at the same moment could not cry, it was like my tears were blocked to come out! It was just too unreal to me that my father with just 51 was dead!
It took all this time till beginning of August 2014, when I finally realized what happened and that I will never see him again nor say anything else to him… I broke a part and one evening I started crying, crying about everything. Letting everything out which was bombarding me emotionally my whole life. It was a release to say the least! I cried until no more tear could flow without painful eyes… In this emotional release I asked god begging what happened to my father! Give me a sign!
And guess what the prayer was heard and 2 weeks later I experienced the first Ascension related symptoms! Sudden hot sweat, but at the same time freezing from the outside. Then 2 nights in a row I experienced sudden full body vibrations! They started at the forehead and continued over the whole body. I kept quiet and did not suspect anything wrong! I then started getting red rashes around my spine, on the height of the lower chakras. Sudden itch at the lower spine! and then one afternoon, the sun was shining through the window of our living room and I suddenly felt the urge to just let go, lying down on the floor, head towards the balcony, and closing my eyes, just breathing.
It was then that I suddenly got hit with an intense bright light flash in the center of my head, which I perceived as behind closed eyes! At the same time I felt intense arousing feelings in my root chakra and it was so intense that it was really close! And then one day later as I was sitting working at computer I suddenly felt a strong density and tension pulsing in my tailbone and the first rising of the Kundalini happened! I felt dense energy going upwards on my back, pushing and pressing against my ribs and shoulder blades!
From that day on everything changed! I started seeing visions of mandalas, purple light inside my head, buzzing and humming vibrations all over my body. I saw crystal clear faces of persons and ET beings projected in front of my third eye! And also the famous high pitched frequency sound started appearing for me and since then becomes clearer and clearer every single time I go through major energy shifts!
The Kundalini energy rose 4-5 times and every single time the constant inner buzzing stays longer on without turning off. I suppose once my body is prepared enough to house this much light it won’t ever turn off again!
This is my current status into the Awakening process and I am looking forward to many more experiences and potentials which always come up after a major energy influx!