As it stands now I did not write a long time in this blog, however I am not so sure if anybody actually cares if it is here or not, as my statistics show a very low visit number… I am thinking of deleting the blog, as it does not serve any purpose. I was hoping to reach other people and to help them through it. But so far I am sharing my stories and my experiences with lovely friends on Facebook and not many people interact here anyway. So what difference does it make, if there is one more blog. By now there are so many of us who go through all these energetic changes, that you probably all have your sources already and I just write a diary here for myself.
However I have one update to make. As it happened yesterday I was hit with an emotional pain right straight into my heart… I should not think this way about it, it should have let me cold. But it did not. I will not write about it here now again, it’s all on my FB wall and most who actually read this blog know about it already, so I will leave it out here for now.
After this emotional pain subsided somewhat through focusing on my passengers and talking to them on the rides I came back home in the evening and we were settling down to watch our series (The Vampire Diaries & The Originals) As I was watching TVD, I felt an odd sensation in my chest! It felt like the inside of my chest suddenly started bubbling and I felt a cool but slight tickling sensation. I knew it was an heart energy rush or expansion or possibly a try to calm me down. I think it worked. I never realized this, but it was the first time that something literally touched my heart and I actually felt it! this sensation subsides very quickly as I got aware of it. and did not return since then.
However I have troubles meditating now… It seems like any connection at all is not there anymore… I tried meditating last evening, but there was only a huge NOTHING. No sensations, no tones, except the always persistent white noise that I can hear since my first activation! No pictures, no light. Nothing 😦 As if nothing at all is happening for me anymore. I really don’t know if I lost it or something… But it just feels empty right now and I miss the days when the energy was strong and I started seeing visions, lights, orbs etc. It seems like there is nothing there anymore 😦 Which is weird as usually after my period the energy rushes up again. But this time it subsided and went into break or something 😦 It does not feel good, especially not within another heartache!