Cycle of life and confrontation

Last night I had some very real but strange dreams. I tried to meditate before and just tuning into the subtle whistle I hear within me or around me, I am actually not sure anymore where that sound comes from. It always shifts pitch and frequency and sometimes I can hear very subtle bell tones.

Cycle of Life

As I fell asleep the first time I went through a dream that was more surreal than real, but on the other hand felt definitely very realistic. I was in an organization and went through corridors as there was a gathering of people, many of the staff members looked at me and I almost felt paranoid as why they would follow me so intensely with their eyes. As I approached the backside of the building and opened a door that lead to a cliff or some kind of pond setting with a waterfall going down. As I looked down I saw tiny fish inside the pond that directly connected to the door. You could not go outside. I remember looking at the fish in so many colors, shapes and forms.

As I returned inside I went back to the main entrance and went outside of the building, as someone suddenly said “The Organization will finally shoot a movie and integrate a lot of the spiritual teachings into it.” It was then that I suddenly was shown part of the movie. It was a blonde girl who lived the whole time in the water, as the train went out of the water and she emerged into the air for the first time she became curious and started floating. The scene was surreal, mountains, hills, suns, water, green so much color. Like in a fantasy land. She was floating over the water and played with the birds that swarmed around her. As she approached the top of the hill she could overlook the whole landscape and then suddenly the one cabin train went down on the other side and approached the water, as she worried, got anxieties and emerged back into the water.

I suddenly realized that this whole scene presented the Cycle of life, always repeating, you emerge, play a little bit and then you go back where you came from.

As this scene ended I was walking along the street as suddenly a red cabriolet drove by with man driving who had long brown hair in a knot and a beard. He was singing a song in a different language. I had the words he used in my head but sadly forgot them. I think it sounded somewhat like: “Le mu a mir may” Something like that.

I suddenly was woken by a loud noise outside… A helicopter, very loud was circling around our house. I did not see anything while opening the blinds, but it was terribly loud… As it finally went away I turned around and fell asleep again. It was around 5-6 AM. As I rushed into the next very real dream.


In this dream I somehow returned back to Germany and joined my mother, my grandfather who I did not see in years and many other family members at a table for dinner. But somehow my mother started attacking me and I don’t know why I was so angry, but the whole dream was about our confrontation and I said the word “whore” a lot of times… Which is so untypical for me… I would never say that. My mother snapped and told me I will need to find a job the next day… But I screamed back at her “No I am not working here, I am living in L.A. and I am working there, you cannot hold me here!

Very weird dreams lately. And many of them have to do with anger release and my mother…


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