I actually wanted to write about it in the post before, but I did not want it to become huge, nobody reads long posts anyway. So I decided to start a new blog post just for the meditation experience from last night.
After this amazing conversation with Deraj and my channeling I learned a few things about my fear and how to possibly overcome it. It’s simple as Deraj said he has the same experiences as me in the past, including the weird swallowing problem and night terrors. So I tried in my meditation to include what I learned.
As I lay down, I kept my eyes open and just stared through the room in total darkness. I saw the glowing light portal dot in my vision and I decided to focus on it with open eyes. It was rotating, and pulsing in different subtle light shades. As I focused on the dot I saw weird movements in my peripheral on the left side in the room. It sometimes looked like tiny black shadow streaks were jumping around like in a zick zack wave pattern. It almost felt as if something was there!
I learned about the power of I AM in front of sentences and so I used it to my advantage, i repeated many times in my mind the sentence: “I AM not Tanja, I AM spirit embodied in a physical body, I AM not defined by my body and I have no limitation. I AM able to see without my physical eyes.” The longer I did this the stronger the weird black streaks became.
Then I decided to close my eyes and just focus on my body, I shifted my awareness around and tried to focus on my forehead. But also on my right hand, as that helped me a lot to focus the night before. Very soon in this meditation I felt extremely strong electrical surges of energy inside my back, my arms, my legs and I felt pulsing in my Solar Plexus chakra! But then a new sensation settled, one that I dd not experience ever before. Suddenly the right lower arm felt like something cold was surrounding it like a snake coiled around it. It was weird. I felt warm underneath the blanket but my arm was feeling oddly cold. I focus on the right hand and I felt tickles and tingles in the right palm. I also had 2 times when my right leg would suddenly jerk up while relaxing deeply. This did not happen in a long time this body jerking in the night.
I must have fallen asleep at some point and actually had a dream in which I think I remember a message of empathy and the ability to release pain and emotional upheaval through the power of crying. It seems I was guided to cry in order to release when I do not feel well. Oddly enough I felt like crying while I told myself that I am not my body, but spirit etc. I actually felt like crying but no tears would come. Maybe the dream was showing me to let go and just let it flow!