Last night I started my meditation as every evening. I was lying on my back and had my eyes closed. I felt very clearly that the inner body vibrations and buzzing were active again, this time more in the center of my body around the navel and above. I heard a slight humming inside my ears. But the most amazing thing is when I went into the bed room and it was pitch black, as soon I lay down and stared into the darkness I saw white light left and right beside my visual field! It seemed actually as if the left and right side of my vision was glowing. The front was dark, but towards the sides I saw a subtle white glow! Every time I would blink my eyes it was like a subtle flashlight blinked on my sides.
As soon I had my eyes closed I focused on my breath and my Third Eye to relax further and then I started saying in my mind repeating “I want to connect with my Higher self“. At some point I visualized myself sitting in a place that I knew from my childhood. A place where we would go many times to play and just hang out. It was a small forest with a man made pond and I visualized myself lying there in front of the pond. I tried to the bets of my ability to stay with this visualization. Then I started seeing the sun above me and visualized it coming closer until it was very close to my face. I just stared at it and said the same sentence over and over again. I did only visualize this scene as suddenly the scene took over and changed, in front of the sun suddenly a shadow being appeared, with a black coat and it opened it’s coat in front of the sun. I knew this creature as I saw it many times in my childhood in nightmares. However since this was not a dream I had control over it and visualized the sun becoming stronger to push this shadow being away. Which seemed to work! Again I saw the sun and stated my intention.
At some point I was close to falling asleep as I suddenly felt a weird suffocating feeling in my chest. I don’t know how to describe it. It feels like something is holding your heart and smashing it in between it’s hands. Made me uneasy and I just jumped out and turned on my right side. Where I must have fallen asleep!
DREAM: Fight with neighbors & the Military
My dream started with my husband and me going to some place. We took the car from our neighbors and the woman (S.) drove it while her boyfriend stayed at home. I don’t know exactly where we wanted to go, but we came to a stop someplace and suddenly my husband got hungry and I know how he is if he doesn’t get something to eat in time, he can become a pain in the ass then… So I asked S. to wait at the place where we wanted to go, while we would drive to a close by restaurant to eat something. She agreed and gave us money (why? I have no idea why…) So we took her car and let her stand in front of that place. As we arrived at the restaurant we saw a huge line, but my husband was so hungry it was very unlikely for him to stand in line, he would never do that, still he insisted of doing just that to get something in his stomach. As it took a long time I got worried about S. who was already waiting a long time for us to return. But as we got out of the restaurant and back into her car we did not drive back to join her. Instead we were driving back home… Which was so weird an totally out of context! After arriving home I remember entering their home and wanting to explain everything, she was already there. But she did not take it correctly. So she threatened me that we stole her money and the car and so she would make sure that the immigration for me would not go so well… Even though they already approved my status in real life. I was literally hanging on to her bagging her to not do anything. It was so strong that I actually woke up shortly after this but I fell asleep right away again and the dream shifted from here.
Suddenly I found myself inside a school like building, I was supposed to start at 10 AM but out of nowhere there was suddenly this high position Military man who invited me on a ride with his truck. I don’t know why I agreed to it, as some details are missing to me now as I try to recall… But I know he was high ranked according to his uniform and the medals on his chest. He had grey hair, blue eyes and was a charming man. We drove with his truck and he showed me all kind of scenes, landscapes and horses along the way. Then at some point he told me that he soon needed to leave and he would like me to continue with General Hess, a young man with high rank and he would take care of me. When he brought me back to the school my teacher, a man with white hair and beard, came to me and was punishing me for coming too late that everybody was already inside. I went inside and there were huge tables where all the others sat already. Including my neighbors O.o hmmm??? They just got somehow transferred into this dream, which had nothing to do with the first one.
Then out of nowhere I am driving with General H. a young man with short dark blonde/light brown hair and blue eyes. As with the man before I felt he was very charming. But the drive was not very long and I do not remember any conversations, except when I opened some kind of drawer and saw these weird triangular round cylinders. They looked like little finger hats but in triangle round form. In white color with some marks on them.
The end of the dream was him setting me out on a lonely street where a farm house was, Long street with huge lawn around and only one farm house. There were two kids who waited for me and I see General H. wandering away along the street until he was out of sight. <- WOW WordPress said up till this point I had 1111 words!