For some reason it became mysteriously quiet around here the last couple of days. I mean I still feel enormous amounts of energy working around my head and I still feel energetic pulling really anyplace in my body. But my attempts in getting more insight during meditations or relaxations end empty without any insight whatsoever. I really don’t know where these vision flashes etc. came from that i got since 2014. But one thing is for sure, if they are not around there is NO vision flashes and no sudden light jolts in my head.
It almost seems that the days when I am by myself so to speak are the days nothing happens. Last night I tried to meditate again and usually when I am relaxed and just try to get into the close to sleep state and stay there I would see sudden pictures, moving scenes etc. But yesterday and the day before there was just a big nothing.
However I saw with closed eyes last night a few tiny light streaks that seemed to zick zack in front of my closed eyes. Tiny light dots that would move around and I see them sometimes with eyes open as well. also yesterday there was no ringing in my ears or anything of that kind. Just the usual always persistent white noise in the background that I hear since all of this started.
And this randomness of this whole thing is what makes it so difficult to adapt and stay calm. Because how can one get used to and lose fear about sudden electric jolts inside the head with sudden vision downloads if they do not happen everyday but really very randomly without warning?