SPIRITUAL GROWTH HURTS
Here we are again… Yesterday my husband went out to our holistic doctor to check his system and what could be wrong with him, since he experiences so many weird bodily symptoms such as weird chills out of nowhere, stomach bloating, headache, pressure along the neck that brings painful spasms and dizziness. Since his physician did not find anything wrong he tried it was a holistic doctor. At the same day he also met with someone from his past. and when he came back from all of this and I asked him how it went and what the doctor said he only said shrugging his shoulders “ehh… just this and that..” Completely unwilling to communicate more and I knew Oh boy it’s starting again… Isn’t it weird that every time I come to recognition of experiences and make leaps in my own path my husband suddenly out of nowhere becomes weird?
He went out and came back another person… This happened in the past so many times and every single time when I had a major growing phase going on we got into arguments and breaking fights…
Yesterday I thought well, okay let him go through it by himself if he does not want to talk. To be honest I am afraid to ask him, as there is ALWAYS a point where he makes it about me and our problems… Today he continues to be weird and does only talk if he needs something from me, does not look at me and even a few minutes ago when I poured tea in our cups and his was not completely full he made the remark
“was that cup supposed to be half empty?”
After that I felt weird and as if he attacks me purposefully. I wanted to ask him seriously the question “why are you suddenly so critical against me? You would never say something like that…”
But instead I asked him finally what is going on? And his answer was:
“Nothing is really going on… It’s not that anybody is bad here. That’s not what I think… No one is bad here… But we are two different persons…”
With this remark he went downstairs and told me he will be there for a while… So whatever is happening again now is directly connected to my growth. It’s almost in theses moments that he got exchanged with someone else who really does not like me! Because honestly if I would record him on a tape or something else you would hear two different persons. The one who loves me so much and can laugh about stupid things. And the other who is moody, grumpy, does not speak one word with me and makes me feel like I did something wrong. Because he treats me like he has no feelings whatsoever… WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE???