After last nights post (https://kundaliniawakeningprocess.wordpress.com/2015/08/31/next-dark-night-of-the-soul-just-about-to-happen/) I was finally able to release the suffering and bad emotions. I burst out crying. Sleeping for the evening alone in our guest bed was a good idea, as it allowed me to cry until nothing wanted to come out anymore. However after some meditation afterwards and then finally falling asleep at around 2:30 AM, I suddenly went through a very long dream scene that was really terrible… It showed me all my internal fears as well as unresolved emotions that I thought were nothing at all…
The dream started with me writing a text message to a friend of ours. A young man who is playing the Violin. He came over a few times to work with my husband and that was the first time he appeared in a dream. The text message I wrote to him was about appreciation for his music (fear #1, my husband hates when I appreciate other musicians for their music, he is one himself) I also asked him to meet with me for a coffee maybe so we could talk about all the beautiful things about the violin. (fear #2, my husband would never allow me to meet with one of his friends he is working with, we had in the very beginning a fight over this).
To my surprise the man (from now on: B.) agreed to the meeting and was kind of happy actually… then the dream shifted and I suddenly was back in my home town in Germany. (fear #3, because of a fight in the beginning of 2012 my husband sent me back to Germany and I needed to stay 9 months since I overstayed my Visa in the USA and needed to apply for the Green Card)
I was looking at my cellphone as the dream suddenly shifted to my husband and B. who talked to each other. B. told my husband in the living room. that he is very surprised, he said: “It’s funny but it seems sometimes people need a second look at someone to know how they really feel about them. Tanja wrote me a message and it felt as if I actually knew her from before. The second look revealed that she may has feelings for me!” I see my husbands face getting angry and in the same moment in Germany I somehow knew that B. told my husband. I was panicking and trying to pull a cable out of the computer in my room. Whatever that means I have no idea… It was the wrong cable however.
In the next scene I was literally back in L.A. and running to my husband originally to try to explain what happened, but instead he was alone in the bathroom and looked at me. in that moment I looked into the mirror and saw that I had an open wound on my forehead, which looked like a whole chunk of skin was removed and the fleshy raw meat was visible. I looked further up and I saw that my scalp from hairline upwards was not connected to my head anymore, it was all fleshy and raw. I remember pulling the hair and seeing the tissues that are just before the brain… (I am wondering why this look in the mirror did not make me feel that I was dreaming, that this wasn’t real, right here I probbaly could have become lucid.) I asked my husband “Do you see this? What happened to my head?” No sign anymore about the text message and B. at all… completely different subject.