Possible lesson about attachments – detachments

Before my Awakening I could never understand why my husband would be so sensitive to noises outside. Sirens, loud laughter or loud cars etc. I believed it had to do with his sensitivity of being a musician who needs good ears to hear everything he plays. I could not understand why a simple chirp and screeching of my pet bird would make him feel uncomfortable. But since my Kundalini Awakening I felt for the first time what it means to be in silence without noise around you. I experienced in my own flesh how painful it is with sensitive hearing to sit beside a cage of a bird who’s screeching sounds like sirens in your head. Very painful indeed…

But now I believe Kundalini wants me to loosen an attachment to that bird. i love him so much, his name is Gustav and he can talk. he is a budgerigar (parakeet). i taught him many sentences and words and so he says things like “I want to be a Platypus” or “Mishinka” (a nickname for my husband), or “I want muffins” etc. It is so painful to make a decision. I know I was led many times during the past weeks to think about the possibility to let him go. On top of that he makes it easy for me to think about this, because of his sudden constant screaming which sounds like fire sirens in my head…

on the other hand I have no idea how I will feel after the fact of giving him away. Who would care for him as I do? Who would leave the cage open all day and night as he is used to. he is such a cute companion and yet I feel that he is not in the right environment. He bonded very recently with one of his toys and it hurt my heart to see that he would scream whenever I touched the bell and his toys… So on a suggestion of my husband, I took the toy out of the cage, while he was not there. So he won’t see my hand as intruder to his “partners disappearance…”

This lesson is a damn hard one and I have no idea how I should decide. i know that losing him will probably bring me down… But keeping him may bring pain with increasing sensibilities… I really don’t know why I am placed into this decision to make. Is it for his/my best? Or is it my ego who wants to get rid of the bird? I really don’t know… Lessons like this are difficult to learn. However it could be an attachment – detachment lesson…

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