Dear friends, indeed it has been a long time, since I reported about my progress… I went through a rough period and I could say that the energy got lower and lower and even the buzzing, vibration that I felt so strong a few months ago, was slowly drifting away. I could even go as far as to say that I did not feel anything anymore. Which resulted in a always returning upset feeling, depression kind of… I felt sad for no obvious reasons, like a failure… I wasn’t able to get to my very first OBE. I did not even get to the so called Sleep Paralysis. All this just kept on growing on me…
But then the turning point arrived. I gave up… I did not continue with my studies about the spiritual and the Kundalini energy. I stopped all I was doing before, including meditation. I continued my life as if nothing happened. I decided to give up, otherwise I would have lost myself in the wish to feel once again these soothing buzzing currents.
However the changes that came with it are still with me to this day. I still see different colored lights with eyes closed or opened, doesn’t matter. Just today I saw a vertical red light line, when I looked into my husbands face. The red light line appeared beside his face towards his left side. It only appeared while I was not directly looking at it. I also still see the energetic patterns that seem like fog hanging in the space in front of me. Sometimes when I work at the computer and focus on the screen, I can see blueish light orbs appearing in the peripheral vision of my eyes, a little bit above the monitor. I also still hear the ringing in my ears, and the flute like sound sometimes comes back.
This all seems like it had ended and what is left are the changes that were done. But then a few days ago I was craving Doughnuts. it has been a long time and I really wanted them at that specific moment. However we must have chosen a bad place or it was a trick to fool me… We ate the doughnuts and when we arrived home I had huge stomach cramps and my body was screaming to get that stuff out, whatever it was… I was many times that day in the bathroom, emptying the whole stomach so it seemed… It continued the next day and especially in the night I heard loud growling and rumbling noises from my core, like when you are hungry, but I wasn’t. It was louder than usual. And when I focused just a little bit while lying on my back, I could feel very slight buzzing vibrations in my stomach.
I do also remember that my dreams lately are different than usual. I normally would dream something about the day. But not so these days. I dream movie sized long dreams that go through things that I did not think about, neither did I see any of the people in those dreams during the day. I even dreamed that my husband is using me to get what he wants. I remember crying in the dream, not so much in real life. As I woke up I was just baffled and didn’t know what that all was about.
I also seem to have gotten into a very bad and it seems uncontrollable habit. I am grinding my teeth. Throughout the night. My husband sometimes wakes me up because I was grinding so loud… The thing is I do it also during waking time, it’s like on automatic or something. It seems when it is happening I am not aware of it, sometimes I am and then I can stop, but I find myself during the day grinding my teeth…
Another bad habit from my childhood came back… I used to seriously destroy my fingernails when I was a kid. I bit and picked on them until they would bleed. The right ring finger was always my most favorite nail to “attack” and so it happened that I bi it so far down that you could not see the nail anymore… With 24 years of age I stopped that behavior, from one to the next day I could just stop and I didn’t do it since then. I am now 28 years old. A few days ago I cut my finger and hit the right ring finger nail with a knife. The nail broke and that must have triggered something, as I started biting off the edges of the cut. I soon realized that I started the same behavior as in my childhood… The fingernail is gone… And I feel every time the urge to pick on it again… I don’t know what happened. But I have a feeling the reason why I don’t feel the currents, buzzing etc. is because it is actually working on deeper soul levels. If I am right with this idea, please let me know if you experienced similar things.
All I can say is, I still would love to get to my very first OBE, but so far it seems I am just not ready. Otherwise it would have happened already.
Thank you guys for reading. I appreciate that!